Top 10 Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top...
View Article25 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work
1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a...
View ArticleDifferences Between You and Your Boss
When you take a long time on a project, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time on a project, she/he’s thorough. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, she/he’s too...
View ArticleThe Boss
Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done”. Quote from the Boss… “I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was...
View Article12 Signs You’re Suffering From Work Burnout
Author Unknown You’re so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell". Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, bitch!" Your garbage can IS your "in" box. You...
View ArticleGreat Business Mergers
Author Unknown If only these companies would merge… Xerox and Wurlitzer: They’re going to make reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell...
View ArticleTotal Eclipse of Communication
author unknown From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse of the sun at nine o’clock. This is something which we cannot see everyday. So let the...
View ArticleHurdling Cube Walls – A real memo from my work
Steph Mineart Intercompany Memorandum To: All Employees From: Facilities Date: April 3, 1998 Subject: Hurdling Cube Walls Please read the following message if you are located at Parkwood. Please be...
View ArticleYou Know You Work In The ’90s When…
“Cleaning up the dining area” means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s home page to your bookmarks. You have a "to-do list" that...
View ArticleBusiness Horoscopes
author unknown What your business degree really says about you… MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on...
View Article12 Tips for Managers and Bosses
Author Unknown Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. If it’s really a "rush job", run in and interrupt me...
View ArticleWho Should Be The Manager
Author Unknown The brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the manager". The feet said, "Since I carry man wherever he wants to go and get man in position to do...
View ArticleTop 11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked
author unknown 11. No one ever steals your chair. 10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 8. People stop stealing your pens...
View ArticleThoughts From The Workplace…
Author Unknown Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. We put the "k" in "kwality." If at first you don’t succeed, try management....
View ArticleHow Shit Happens
Author Unknown In the beginning, there was the plan. And then came the assumptions. And the assumptions were without form. And the plan was completely without substance. The employees told their...
View ArticleJob Position Ad for SoulWaste
Author Unknown Join the dynamic team here at SoulWaste. We want people who believe in the hi-tech religion and who are willing to work 60 hour weeks under florescent lights in grey buildings with...
View ArticleGetting Into Heaven
Author Unknown Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why do you think you...
View ArticleThe Office Personality Test
Author Unknown Every office has an Office Spaz, an Office Psycho, an Office Lump, and an Office Martyr. Which one are you? 1. Your boss is giving a presentation to the 15 members of the Board of...
View ArticleThe Ultimate Email Urban Legend
Author Unknown A young man was diagnosed with a life-threatening bout of food poisoning after eating part of a cooked rat that had fallen into his eight-piece chicken dinner that he had purchased from...
View ArticleMy Manager Really Said This
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions: As of tomorrow, employees...
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